Ah....Gina....I saved this reading of yours in my email because I wanted to devote ample time to TRULY reading it. And I'm so glad I did because your timing (for me) was perfect. Let me explain....
Tomorrow is the 2 year anniversary of my best friend in the entire world, Aimee Gray. She was my partner-in-crime, sister, wife, and even was the co-admin of my Facebook community "Attitude of Gratitude with Chronic Pain." She had Congestive Heart Failure and was on the waiting list for a heart for transplant. She didn't get one in time and passed away on March 19, 2020 at the age of 47.
Ironically, while it was right when Covid was striking, she didn't die of Covid and I'm so happy for her in that way. I knew with her issues that she was in extreme danger of contracting it...and if she did she would never have survived. In my mind, the fact that she didn't end up dying from that was her dying on "her terms" and not due to some "freakin'" virus (except she wouldn't have said "freakin"....while she helped me run a group about GRATITUDE her vocabulary was colorful and glorious. lol)
I miss her every single day, but something that I have shared a lot with my group is that Aimee taught me how to live like I was dying. While there was a glimmer of hope to get a heart, she really knew for years that she was dying. And with that woman we went on countless adventures, ate great food in the cities I took her to for her doctor appointments, went to every festival known to man in the tri-state area, every Christmas light display....the woman hated to stay home. She wanted to LIVE which became increasingly difficult the sicker she got.
I spent weeks with her in the hospital (thank goodness this was pre-Covid and the kind people at St. Luke's in Bethlehem, PA allowed me to stay with her.) We painted, we laughed, we watched a whole lot of Dateline and Judge Judy, and we talked and talked.
So friendship, for me, has changed in my mind since losing Aimee, and while I pray that your amazing friend is certainly going to be on this earth for a long, long time....it is those precious moments of face time that connect us on such a deep level.
I won't go into what a great friend you are because I do understand where you are coming from. But what I will tell you is that you are simply a great person....which means that she, no doubt, is a great person too. Your work through your writing and your journey with GRATITUDE has given you a spoiler alert into what is truly important in this life....and I believe it is our connections. I wholeheartedly agree that in middle age you recognize the importance of our friendships, and sadly, many of us lose them because of differing views on things that...well...may not be all that important at the end of the day.
Thank you for this beautiful piece and for touching me on the eve of Aimee's death anniversary. As usual, your words have taken my breath away (although clearly my flying fingers are working just fine! lol)
Lauren, thank you so so much for sharing. I am so sorry for your loss, and I am thrilled that my email gave you some comfort or made you feel less alone. sending love xoxoxo
Ah....Gina....I saved this reading of yours in my email because I wanted to devote ample time to TRULY reading it. And I'm so glad I did because your timing (for me) was perfect. Let me explain....
Tomorrow is the 2 year anniversary of my best friend in the entire world, Aimee Gray. She was my partner-in-crime, sister, wife, and even was the co-admin of my Facebook community "Attitude of Gratitude with Chronic Pain." She had Congestive Heart Failure and was on the waiting list for a heart for transplant. She didn't get one in time and passed away on March 19, 2020 at the age of 47.
Ironically, while it was right when Covid was striking, she didn't die of Covid and I'm so happy for her in that way. I knew with her issues that she was in extreme danger of contracting it...and if she did she would never have survived. In my mind, the fact that she didn't end up dying from that was her dying on "her terms" and not due to some "freakin'" virus (except she wouldn't have said "freakin"....while she helped me run a group about GRATITUDE her vocabulary was colorful and glorious. lol)
I miss her every single day, but something that I have shared a lot with my group is that Aimee taught me how to live like I was dying. While there was a glimmer of hope to get a heart, she really knew for years that she was dying. And with that woman we went on countless adventures, ate great food in the cities I took her to for her doctor appointments, went to every festival known to man in the tri-state area, every Christmas light display....the woman hated to stay home. She wanted to LIVE which became increasingly difficult the sicker she got.
I spent weeks with her in the hospital (thank goodness this was pre-Covid and the kind people at St. Luke's in Bethlehem, PA allowed me to stay with her.) We painted, we laughed, we watched a whole lot of Dateline and Judge Judy, and we talked and talked.
So friendship, for me, has changed in my mind since losing Aimee, and while I pray that your amazing friend is certainly going to be on this earth for a long, long time....it is those precious moments of face time that connect us on such a deep level.
I won't go into what a great friend you are because I do understand where you are coming from. But what I will tell you is that you are simply a great person....which means that she, no doubt, is a great person too. Your work through your writing and your journey with GRATITUDE has given you a spoiler alert into what is truly important in this life....and I believe it is our connections. I wholeheartedly agree that in middle age you recognize the importance of our friendships, and sadly, many of us lose them because of differing views on things that...well...may not be all that important at the end of the day.
Thank you for this beautiful piece and for touching me on the eve of Aimee's death anniversary. As usual, your words have taken my breath away (although clearly my flying fingers are working just fine! lol)
Lauren, thank you so so much for sharing. I am so sorry for your loss, and I am thrilled that my email gave you some comfort or made you feel less alone. sending love xoxoxo
I wrote a tribute to her about a month after she passed. It is about living like we are dying and the beautiful messages she taught me in GRATITUDE and life. If you're interested, it is here: https://www.gratitudeaddict.com/we-should-all-live-like-we-are-dying/
This is so wonderful and timely. Thank you!
Julie, thank you! xoxo